I’m sorry to be posting something so morbid during ICLW, but I guess this is time sensitive…
I opened my Google Reader today to a new post by one of my favorite bloggers, Lisa from Clusterfook. Lisa is a mother of 2 and so uplifting and funny, but at the same time real and honest. She’s one of those people that I would love to know and spend time with in real life.
Lisa is dying of ovarian cancer that has spread throughout her body.
I opened her latest post to find that it hasn’t been written by her at all, but by her friend, Karl, who she had asked to post updates on her health once she no longer can. It seems that she is not doing so well, and the doctors think that she will be “lucky” to make it through the weekend. Please stop over to her blog, read her story, and leave some kind words. I’m sure her husband and daughters will appreciate all of the support.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
25 things
In honor of ICLW, I'm posting this random meme that I did on facebook. Sorry I don't have anything more interesting to post right now... I've been kinda short on time this week....
1.I'm not really sure that there are 25 things about me that people will care about.
2. There are currently 11 people living in my parents house. 2 are my parents and 3 are my siblings. The rest are members of my extended family. (There have been no less than 10 people there since 2001)
3.I've always had a dream to open my own bridal boutique.
4. I still have no idea what I really want to do "when I grow up."
5. My biggest regret is not getting a bachelor's degree.
6. My second biggest regret is not going away to college. (although, I might not have met my husband had a done that..... so I guess it was meant to be)
7. I hate my name. I thought about going by my middle name (Renee) when I got to High School but that would have been too much trouble.
8. I don't have a favorite anything (color, band, food, movie, book, etc...) there are too many to choose from.
9. I'm indecisive.
10. Sometimes, when I'm out in public with my nieces, I like to pretend they're my kids. Especially when I'm being told how cute they are!
11.I was really excited to get Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred in the mail, but I haven't touched it since it got here.
12. I sometimes still sleep with a stuffed animal. His name is Bowsers and he's a yellow stuffed dog.
13. I have a friend that is an astrophysicist. Thinking about it makes me giggle every time.
14. I have absolutely no idea how to decorate my house. Anyone wanna come give me ideas?
15. I can't stand monotony. As soon as one big event is over, I have to focus on the next big event coming up, so that I don't get too bored with the every day.
16. My biggest fear is being forgotten. That said, I always assume that people I haven't seen in a while don't remember me.
17. I saw Titanic in the theater 3 times. I bought the score and cried while listening to it. When the movie came out, I bought it and never watched it!
18. I could totally be a shopaholic.
19. I am a self-proclaimed chocoholic.
20. I watch WAY too much tv.
21.I would love to live on a farm- if I could pay someone to do all of the hard work and just hang out with the animals when I felt like it.
22. Sometimes I wish the whole women's lib thing never happened so I wouldn't be expected to work outside the house.
23. I have a list of things I would get done if I was ever chosen to be on extreme makeover.
24. I once almost moved to Chicago to go to fashion merchandising school.... but then I chickened out.
25. I LOVE presents! But I would rather someone spend $5 on me and get me something that shows they really know me than spend $5000 on something impersonal.
1.I'm not really sure that there are 25 things about me that people will care about.
2. There are currently 11 people living in my parents house. 2 are my parents and 3 are my siblings. The rest are members of my extended family. (There have been no less than 10 people there since 2001)
3.I've always had a dream to open my own bridal boutique.
4. I still have no idea what I really want to do "when I grow up."
5. My biggest regret is not getting a bachelor's degree.
6. My second biggest regret is not going away to college. (although, I might not have met my husband had a done that..... so I guess it was meant to be)
7. I hate my name. I thought about going by my middle name (Renee) when I got to High School but that would have been too much trouble.
8. I don't have a favorite anything (color, band, food, movie, book, etc...) there are too many to choose from.
9. I'm indecisive.
10. Sometimes, when I'm out in public with my nieces, I like to pretend they're my kids. Especially when I'm being told how cute they are!
11.I was really excited to get Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred in the mail, but I haven't touched it since it got here.
12. I sometimes still sleep with a stuffed animal. His name is Bowsers and he's a yellow stuffed dog.
13. I have a friend that is an astrophysicist. Thinking about it makes me giggle every time.
14. I have absolutely no idea how to decorate my house. Anyone wanna come give me ideas?
15. I can't stand monotony. As soon as one big event is over, I have to focus on the next big event coming up, so that I don't get too bored with the every day.
16. My biggest fear is being forgotten. That said, I always assume that people I haven't seen in a while don't remember me.
17. I saw Titanic in the theater 3 times. I bought the score and cried while listening to it. When the movie came out, I bought it and never watched it!
18. I could totally be a shopaholic.
19. I am a self-proclaimed chocoholic.
20. I watch WAY too much tv.
21.I would love to live on a farm- if I could pay someone to do all of the hard work and just hang out with the animals when I felt like it.
22. Sometimes I wish the whole women's lib thing never happened so I wouldn't be expected to work outside the house.
23. I have a list of things I would get done if I was ever chosen to be on extreme makeover.
24. I once almost moved to Chicago to go to fashion merchandising school.... but then I chickened out.
25. I LOVE presents! But I would rather someone spend $5 on me and get me something that shows they really know me than spend $5000 on something impersonal.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
options and decisions
Thank you all for your advice and support. I understand this isn’t the end of the world, it just threw a great big wrench in my plans, and I’m still trying to work out where to go from here….
The Hubs and I have not had a chance to sit down and actually talk about this yet. I think we’re both kind of afraid of having that conversation….. it can go so many different ways!
Option 1: we save up money and wait until we have enough to do an IUI. Neither of us is very good at saving, despite our best efforts. Pros: We won’t be going into debt, so that will be one less thing to worry about. Cons: This could take a very long time, and if the first one doesn’t take, we’ll have to do it again, which means we’ll have to take that time to save up for another round, and that means waiting some more. I’m not good at waiting, as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now…
Option 2: We look into a payment plan with the RE’s office. Pros: We get to go ahead with IUI sooner rather than later. Cons: The chances of the Hubs going for this are slim. He doesn’t really like owing people money.
Option 3: We look into getting another credit card. This is probably not going to happen for the same reason as number 2. Also, interest sucks.
Option 4: I work out like a madwoman and actually stick to a diet, and we hope and pray that I start ovulating again and we can do this the old fashioned way. Pros: I’ll get skinny and healthy. (this is a big pro that I’m working on anyway) Cons: Again with the waiting and trying. Plus, who knows if/when I’ll ever ovulate on my own. I haven’t ovulated without being medically treated since about 3 years ago.
Option 5: We scrap the whole IF treatment thing and look into adoption. Pros: This was my original plan. I had always felt that if I wasn’t able to get pregnant on my own, it would mean that God was trying to tell me that I needed to adopt. (and really, who could have predicted this? My mom had 6 kids, and my sister got knocked up on accident. Twice. Once with twins. Because her ovaries got really excited and spit out 2 eggs.) Also, I would be raising a child that, otherwise, might not have love in his/her life.
Cons: Adoption is expensive. It can be really involved and take a really long time to get an infant. Also, I’ve tossed the idea up in the air a few times, and the Hubs isn’t 100% on board with it. There are many reasons, and none that are baseless.
The one option that is completely out of the question for me is the one where we choose to live childless. I know I won’t be able to handle that. It would absolutely kill me to never have a little voice call me “Mommy.” I’m not strong enough to struggle with this for 5 or 10 or more years before finally having a child. I’ve been praying so hard about this for so long, and I still don’t have an answer. I know which direction I’m leaning toward, but I’m only slightly leaning that way. How do I know what is the best way to go? How will I know if I've made the right decision? More importantly, what will happen if the Hubs and I can't come to a decision we're both at peace with?
The Hubs and I have not had a chance to sit down and actually talk about this yet. I think we’re both kind of afraid of having that conversation….. it can go so many different ways!
Option 1: we save up money and wait until we have enough to do an IUI. Neither of us is very good at saving, despite our best efforts. Pros: We won’t be going into debt, so that will be one less thing to worry about. Cons: This could take a very long time, and if the first one doesn’t take, we’ll have to do it again, which means we’ll have to take that time to save up for another round, and that means waiting some more. I’m not good at waiting, as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now…
Option 2: We look into a payment plan with the RE’s office. Pros: We get to go ahead with IUI sooner rather than later. Cons: The chances of the Hubs going for this are slim. He doesn’t really like owing people money.
Option 3: We look into getting another credit card. This is probably not going to happen for the same reason as number 2. Also, interest sucks.
Option 4: I work out like a madwoman and actually stick to a diet, and we hope and pray that I start ovulating again and we can do this the old fashioned way. Pros: I’ll get skinny and healthy. (this is a big pro that I’m working on anyway) Cons: Again with the waiting and trying. Plus, who knows if/when I’ll ever ovulate on my own. I haven’t ovulated without being medically treated since about 3 years ago.
Option 5: We scrap the whole IF treatment thing and look into adoption. Pros: This was my original plan. I had always felt that if I wasn’t able to get pregnant on my own, it would mean that God was trying to tell me that I needed to adopt. (and really, who could have predicted this? My mom had 6 kids, and my sister got knocked up on accident. Twice. Once with twins. Because her ovaries got really excited and spit out 2 eggs.) Also, I would be raising a child that, otherwise, might not have love in his/her life.
Cons: Adoption is expensive. It can be really involved and take a really long time to get an infant. Also, I’ve tossed the idea up in the air a few times, and the Hubs isn’t 100% on board with it. There are many reasons, and none that are baseless.
The one option that is completely out of the question for me is the one where we choose to live childless. I know I won’t be able to handle that. It would absolutely kill me to never have a little voice call me “Mommy.” I’m not strong enough to struggle with this for 5 or 10 or more years before finally having a child. I’ve been praying so hard about this for so long, and I still don’t have an answer. I know which direction I’m leaning toward, but I’m only slightly leaning that way. How do I know what is the best way to go? How will I know if I've made the right decision? More importantly, what will happen if the Hubs and I can't come to a decision we're both at peace with?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
You know what they say about people who ASSUME…..
I finally got around to calling my insurance provider to find out about what fertility treatments would be covered. Silly me, I figured that, since my RE was covered in their plan, they would cover some type of treatments.
They don’t. The only thing they only thing they cover is getting diagnosed. Isn’t that nice of them? I kind of feel like I was dropped in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the clothes on my back, and told that it was up to me to figure out how to get back home.
I’m really not sure what to do with this. I guess The Hubs and I are going to have to have (yet another) serious talk.
Dammit.
They don’t. The only thing they only thing they cover is getting diagnosed. Isn’t that nice of them? I kind of feel like I was dropped in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the clothes on my back, and told that it was up to me to figure out how to get back home.
I’m really not sure what to do with this. I guess The Hubs and I are going to have to have (yet another) serious talk.
Dammit.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Kind of all over the place
I don’t have anything profound to share with the class. I have failed at ICLW. I was so sick and achy all weekend that I really didn’t feel like sitting in front of my computer. I’m sorry. I really thought I’d be able to do it this month…
I did, however, watch Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium [http://www.magorium.com/] yesterday. (I called off of work because I was miserable.) This movie was SO good… and the casting was amazing. Dustin Hoffman! Natalie Portman! Jason Bateman! Why wasn’t this movie a hit? I’m pretty sure it was being targeted to the wrong audience.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes:
“37 seconds”“Great. Well done. Now, we wait.”“No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds well used is a lifetime.”
Have you seen this? If not, go rent it. You’ll love it. Don’t expect it to be all light and fluffy, though, because it’s not. It’s heartwarming and uplifting, but there’s some definite depth to it. Stop back here after you’ve watched it to let me know what you think.
I’m on CD 62. No signs of ovulation or AF. I’m wondering how long this stalemate with my ovaries will last. Obviously the Metformin isn’t working as well as I would have hoped.
I did, however, watch Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium [http://www.magorium.com/] yesterday. (I called off of work because I was miserable.) This movie was SO good… and the casting was amazing. Dustin Hoffman! Natalie Portman! Jason Bateman! Why wasn’t this movie a hit? I’m pretty sure it was being targeted to the wrong audience.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes:
“37 seconds”“Great. Well done. Now, we wait.”“No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds well used is a lifetime.”
Have you seen this? If not, go rent it. You’ll love it. Don’t expect it to be all light and fluffy, though, because it’s not. It’s heartwarming and uplifting, but there’s some definite depth to it. Stop back here after you’ve watched it to let me know what you think.
I’m on CD 62. No signs of ovulation or AF. I’m wondering how long this stalemate with my ovaries will last. Obviously the Metformin isn’t working as well as I would have hoped.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Just stuff
My sinuses hate me. I feel like I’m stuffed with cotton from the base of my neck to the top of my head. My head is so stuffed with cotton, that it made me forget a bunch of important stuff…. Like the fact that it’s ICLW! (and some other important work-related stuff, too. It’s pretty frustrating. I know the knowledge is somewhere in my brain, I just can’t seem to get to it. Totally annoying.)
I really don’t have too much to talk about today, so I’ll just give you a glimpse into my tv junkie mind.
American Idol auditions bore me. I think they showed a whole 1 or 2 decently talented people on last night’s episode. I fast forwarded through most of it. And Bikini Girl from last week? Please. I hope this season gets better, because right now it seems like a joke. Kara DiGuardi is pretty cool, though. At least she’s credible.
24 is back, and started the season off well. I did a little happy dance (OK, a big, over the top happy dance) when I saw a few of my favorite faces back. Tony Almeda is totally hot, and I really missed Jack Bauer. I think I’ll forever miss David Palmer. He was my all time favorite character.
Gossip Girl was OK this week. I’m over Dan and Serena. I haven’t liked them with anyone else they’ve been paired with, but I don’t like them together. I think I’m just mostly over Dan. I’m super stoked about Lily and Rufus, though. They’re sweet together…. I’ve been rooting for them since the pilot. It was good to see Blair as the Queen B again. Nate + Vanessa = boring. I liked them together at first, but the pairing makes Nate have not enough screen time. I’m not all about that. Also? Jenny’s hair? Ew. It’s so bad it’s distracting.
One Tree Hill was only OK this week, too. I’m really glad that Julian is turning out to be a good guy for Brooke. She’s my fav, and I like him. What else has he been in, though? It’s driving me nuts. Also, is it just me, or does anyone else think that James Van Der Beek (sp?) should have come back as Dawson? I mean, Dawson was a director, and his character would have been THE PERFECT choice for Lucas’ movie. Am I right?
The Big Bang Theory is my new favorite sitcom. I still love HIMYM and The Office and always will, but TBBT makes me laugh EVERY TIME. It’s just really smart comedy. It kind of reminds me of my friend who is an astrophysicist. (You think I’m kidding, don’t you? I’m not. He was one of my best friends in HS, grew up within walking distance of my parents’ house, and currently lives in Switzerland with his super cool wife.) So anyway, I like that show.
Lost starts tonight. I have mixed feelings about this show….. I loved it until last season. I’m really frustrated with the fact that it raises all of these questions and then NEVER ANSWERS THEM! EVER! I’ll watch, and I’ll probably become addicted to it again, but I’m not all that pumped for it.
Yesterday was Inauguration day! Whether you love him or hate him, President Barak Obama made history last night. I feel so blessed to see this in my lifetime. He has a lot of expectations to try to live up to. I hope people realize that he is only one person, and he is only human. Change won’t come immediately, but I believe it will come. My prayers go up for the Lord to protect him and guide him to the correct path for this country.
I really don’t have too much to talk about today, so I’ll just give you a glimpse into my tv junkie mind.
American Idol auditions bore me. I think they showed a whole 1 or 2 decently talented people on last night’s episode. I fast forwarded through most of it. And Bikini Girl from last week? Please. I hope this season gets better, because right now it seems like a joke. Kara DiGuardi is pretty cool, though. At least she’s credible.
24 is back, and started the season off well. I did a little happy dance (OK, a big, over the top happy dance) when I saw a few of my favorite faces back. Tony Almeda is totally hot, and I really missed Jack Bauer. I think I’ll forever miss David Palmer. He was my all time favorite character.
Gossip Girl was OK this week. I’m over Dan and Serena. I haven’t liked them with anyone else they’ve been paired with, but I don’t like them together. I think I’m just mostly over Dan. I’m super stoked about Lily and Rufus, though. They’re sweet together…. I’ve been rooting for them since the pilot. It was good to see Blair as the Queen B again. Nate + Vanessa = boring. I liked them together at first, but the pairing makes Nate have not enough screen time. I’m not all about that. Also? Jenny’s hair? Ew. It’s so bad it’s distracting.
One Tree Hill was only OK this week, too. I’m really glad that Julian is turning out to be a good guy for Brooke. She’s my fav, and I like him. What else has he been in, though? It’s driving me nuts. Also, is it just me, or does anyone else think that James Van Der Beek (sp?) should have come back as Dawson? I mean, Dawson was a director, and his character would have been THE PERFECT choice for Lucas’ movie. Am I right?
The Big Bang Theory is my new favorite sitcom. I still love HIMYM and The Office and always will, but TBBT makes me laugh EVERY TIME. It’s just really smart comedy. It kind of reminds me of my friend who is an astrophysicist. (You think I’m kidding, don’t you? I’m not. He was one of my best friends in HS, grew up within walking distance of my parents’ house, and currently lives in Switzerland with his super cool wife.) So anyway, I like that show.
Lost starts tonight. I have mixed feelings about this show….. I loved it until last season. I’m really frustrated with the fact that it raises all of these questions and then NEVER ANSWERS THEM! EVER! I’ll watch, and I’ll probably become addicted to it again, but I’m not all that pumped for it.
Yesterday was Inauguration day! Whether you love him or hate him, President Barak Obama made history last night. I feel so blessed to see this in my lifetime. He has a lot of expectations to try to live up to. I hope people realize that he is only one person, and he is only human. Change won’t come immediately, but I believe it will come. My prayers go up for the Lord to protect him and guide him to the correct path for this country.
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