...Or maybe they did, and I just thought they were exaggerating. I mean, really, how much could it suck, right? You’re PREGNANT! There’s a person growing inside of you! You should be SMILING as you puke your guts up, right?
Well, I did smile the first couple of mornings that I woke up with the nausea that never ends. I was humming a happy tune as I dry heaved over the toilet at work. I laughed when I became too bloated (and constipated) to button my pants. Because I’m growing a person! After 2 years of trying, I actually got knocked up!
And then reality hit. Constant nausea sucks ass. Constipation should be a four letter word. I know I need to eat, but NOTHING tastes good, and I gag while trying to force feed myself. Having to sit at work, under florescent lights, and stare at a computer screen with a screaming headache, and not being able to take anything for it is a special kind of torture. I don’t know how pregnant women function. Maybe I’m a wuss, but I’m having a REALLY hard time getting through this first trimester…..
And I feel so bad for complaining. I’ve wanted this for so long, I feel like I don’t have the right to be frustrated with the crap that comes along with the first trimester. I feel like I should be dancing around everywhere with a perma-grin on my face.
Yeah, I don’t have that.
I do take comfort in my sickness a little bit, however, because I know it means the Bean is still growing in there. I’ll be even more at ease once I see the heartbeat on Tuesday. Until then, it doesn’t really feel real. I just feel sick. Constantly.