Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Whatever Wednesday


*My coworker is back from maternity leave! WOO HOO! I have been doing her job and mine for the past 6 weeks, so I am SO glad she’s back. My cube is SUCH a mess that I feel like I’m drowning…. And I can finally clean it out!

*I don’t feel like cleaning out my cube. Actually, I don’t feel like doing much of anything……

*I love my husband, and I like my life a whole lot, but man, I’m REALLY envious of The Pioneer Woman’s life. She’s had the best of both worlds (BIG city living and WAY OUT IN THE BOONIES country living.) Her relationship with her husband seems practically perfect in every way, and she has some adorable kids! Not to mention they have a farm. I’ve always wanted to have a farm…..(at least a whole bunch of farm animals….) I had a dream the other night that I was her kids’ nanny or something. I’m not obsessed or anything. Is this unhealthy?

*I’m going to Cedar Point on Saturday. It’s supposed to be 86 and sunny. I don’t own a pair of shorts. I went shopping for some yesterday and all the pairs I could find were: too high of a rise (think above the belly button), too low of a rise (making my belly look even bigger than it is), too long, too short, too heavy, too “teenager-y”, too “old lady”, too dressy…. There’s a lot of really cute little “active” skirts out there, but, hello! I’m going to cedar point. I don’t want to be flashing people all day. Also, I have fat thighs and they rub together and it hurts. Remember when you were a kid and any old pair of shorts was fine?

*I realized I’m getting old. Just recently I’ve been looking at HS and college girls and thinking about how nice it would be to be that young again with no cares in the world……..sad, huh?

*The Hubs FINALLY got a SA yesterday. My NP called this morning to tell me the results….. and everything on his end looks really good. So I guess I’m the broken one in this relationship. That’s good, though. I’d rather it be me than him. There’s not too much that can be done for MFIF. So I start provera this weekend (as soon as I call in a BFN on a HPT) and then Clomid once AF shows. Not really looking forward to more clomid crap, but anything to make a baby, right?!

*My parents are going on vacation in a couple of weeks, and they ask me at LEAST twice a day if I can go. Honestly, I want to, and I probably could- IF I wanted to leave the Hubs behind (they couldn’t afford to pay for us both), or IF we had the money to go, or IF I had the time left to take off of work….. I feel so bad every time they ask, and when I try to bring in the OB appts that I have to make, they just get all weird about it…. Of course, they’re all either way fertile or not women, so they wouldn’t really get it, I guess….. it just makes it hard, ya know? It will be my parents’ first vacation without half of their kids, so they’re having a hard time with it. Last time we took a family vacation was when we went to Disney World about 5 years ago. Of course none of us were married then, and we were all able to go. This year, I’m not going, my sister (mom of The Littles) isn’t going, and my deadbeat brother isn’t going, because my sister and I aren’t and he’ll be bored ::rolls eyes::

*I have eaten SO much crap today! I had 2 donuts and 2 pieces of extra greasy pizza…. But it was SOOOOOO good and SOOOOO worth it!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Marriage Builder Monday

So, in case you couldn't tell, I'm a huge fan of this marriage building stuff. Sarah at Burgeon came up with the idea of Marriage Builder Monday. Every Monday, I will post something that I will do for my husband throughout the week to make sure he knows that I recognize how hard he works and that I appreciate him. If you think that this is all about him, ladies, guess what! Almost always he'll feel so good about the effort you put in to making him feel good, that he'll return the favor two fold. No kidding. I've tested this theory, and it works a HELL of a lot better than bitching and moaning does. (I've tested that one, too.)

This week, I am going to try and hang out with the Hubs in the basement. The basement, or "man cave" is where my darling husband prefers to spend his time. I told him not too long ago that I hate going down there because I feel like it's his territory and that I don't have a place down there. He felt really bad about that, but I still haven't really spent time down there. Even if I just sit there and read my book and basically ignore him, he's happy that I'm sharing "his space" willingly. So, this week, I will make an effort to spend time down there when he's down there. It's a small step, but I know it will be appreciated.

Also, I'm kinda html illiterate. If someone can tell me how in the world I can make the little icon on the top of this page link to Sarah's blog, I will be a HAPPY HAPPY lady!

Any pranksters out there?

I posted this on my local message board, but I need all the help I can get..... I don't have a practical joke bone in my body!

SO most, if not all, of you know that I've been doing my co-worker's work on top of my own while she is out on maternity leave. She's due to come back on Wed. I came in today doing a little happy dance and chanting "2 more days! 2 more days!" She's going to be back just in time to take over the July invoices for all of her vendors. They are a PITA and I HATE doing them, so I was SO excited to put them on her desk this morning...........

FF to about 15 minutes ago. My boss came up and said "So she's not coming back. She DEFINITLY won't be here on Weds, and she's working with benefits and may not come back at all." I almost did all of the things that the subject line implies and I was plotting her demise. While we were sitting at my other boss's desk, my cw calls and says

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The PUNK! She IS coming back and she really had us all thinking that she wasn't! I'm releived and SO mad at her at the same time. You all have to help me think of something to do to get even. I'm not a jokester, and she TOTALLY deserves it!

If I didn't know any better...

Honestly, if I had ovulated since ummm February, I’d think I was pregnant. Since I haven’t ovulated in MONTHS, though, I know I’m not, and all this crap going on with my body is freaking annoying! Wanna know what I’m whining about?

First, smells are SOOOOO potent right now. And my gag reflex is up. Way up. Never in my life have I actually gagged at smells…. Now I dry heave. In public. I know, gross, right?

Also, I’ve been eating like crazy… and not good stuff. Yesterday morning we went out to breakfast. I had french toast AND biscuits and sausage gravy. I ate it all. In like 10 minutes. I don’t think I ate for the rest of the day, but still! I’ve been eating like that for a week now! At least! Actually, I probably could have lived off of hamburgers for a week, because that’s the only thing that has sounded good to me, even though I’ve eaten everything else in sight.

AND! I look pregnant! Honestly, I was looking at my silhouette in the mirror yesterday, and if I totally could tell people I was preggers and they’d believe me. My tummy has never been small, and it’s probably because of all of the CRAP that I’ve been eating, but GEEZ! I could be 6 months along!

I’ve been having a REALLY hard time falling asleep and staying that way at night, and then, of course, I have a really hard time waking up in the morning and, you know, functioning and stuff. And the dreams that I’ve been having? SO strange!

The Hubs, poor guy, keeps asking “Are you SURE? Should we get a test?” and every time I explain to him that “no, it’s not possible, I haven’t had an egg ready to be fertilized since the cold cold winter months AND have been given pregnancy tests since then”, I think he dies a little. Poor guy. (I’m pretty sure the punctuation in that sentence is ALL wrong, but whatever.)

Tomorrow is the rescheduled SA. The Hubs is pretty psyched for it, and has no doubts that it will be smooth sailing. Wish us luck!

Friday, July 25, 2008

My Husband? He rocks.

To learn more about My Husband Rocks! Friday, please see the icon on my sidebar.

Of course, of all weeks to be busy, it has to be during ICLW, so that I can’t blog to my heart’s content to give everyone something semi- interesting to read. Sorry, blogland! Unfortunately, some of us have lives. I know, right?

SO today, on this BEAUTIFUL Friday in Northeastern Ohio, I’m going to tell you about why my husband rocks. I LOVE this idea, because it’s so easy during the day to day to only see the flaws and reasons why your partner DOESN’T rock. Doing MHR makes me sit down and remember why I married this crazy man to begin with. By the time I’ve finished writing these posts, I feel like I’ve fallen in love with him all over again. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

My husband rocks because I know he will be an amazing father, and he’s SO patient with me throughout the process (so far…. We haven’t really gotten in to the hard stuff, though!) He’s always willing to “practice” by watching the Littles. They love him. He has never even complained once when I’ve offered to take them overnight (or for a whole weekend) and actually gets kinda bummed when my sister and her husband inevitably chicken out and tell us that they just can’t bear to be apart from them overnight.

We have a puppy (Charlie) and a cat (Maggie) who are our “kids.” The Hubs is the one who started referring to us as “mommy” and “daddy” to the animals. He worries over them like they were actual children. It’s so cute! It’s not uncommon for him to forgo a night out with the guys in order to stay home and “hang out with Charlie.” If he’s like this with our nieces and animals, I can only imagine what he’ll be like with our own children. I hope we can find out soon!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Whatever Wednesday!

Holy Cow! It’s Whatever Wednesday again!

~This morning I woke up 45 minutes late. I didn’t shower or wear contacts. I wonder if anyone thinks I look like I didn’t shower?

~The Hubs and I had a bit of a discussion last night. But then my sister called and said “I have a gift card to Coldstone!” and I ran out of the house like it was on fire. I mean, the Littles and ice cream! There is no better remedy.

~Two of my cousins had a birthday party on Sunday (they are brothers, 13 and 15). Each of them received upwards of $300 which they will spend on MORE crap to cram into my mother’s house. (My aunt and uncle and 2 cousins are living with my mom and dad while they are saving up for a place of their own.) Doesn’t it suck that, when you’re young you get all kinds of crap and money for your birthday, but when you get older and you NEED the crap and money, you don’t ever get it?

~Speaking of birthdays…… Do anyone else’s parents do this? My mom will think she’s being all cool and give me a card for my birthday with a note in it “ For your birthday, Please choose between (something really great like a spa day) or (something I can’t afford and practical and that I need like new tires).” Thanks Mom, couldn’t you just say that you’d be nice and buy me new tires instead of letting me know what I COULD have instead?! UGH

~I like to think of myself as a pretty selfless person. I like to give to others, and if I have something and someone else needs it (besides chocolate, of course) I will gladly give it up…… but I’m shameless when it comes to presents. What can I say? I love a good surprise, and presents are the best kind I know the “good” thing to say when someone asks what I want for my birthday or Christmas would be to say “Oh, really, you don’t have to get me anything, I’ll be fine” but really, that’s not the case. I don’t make lists 100 items long, like little kids do, but I most definitely have some suggestions! Also, I have a requirement that all of my gifts need to be a surprise. I will test the Hubs and beg and beg for him to let me know what he’s gotten me, or at least give me hints so I can guess, but then I get really bummed when I figure out what it is so it’s not a surprise anymore. Maybe one day he’ll learn to steer me down the completely wrong path so that I don’t have a clue. Right now he just says “why do you even as? You know you don’t want to know!”

~One week from today (YAY!!!!) my co-worker is coming back from maternity leave. I have been taking over her responsibilities, so I will be SOO happy when she gets here and I can just do MY job and then I’ll finally be able to organize my desk and get all of the crap I have acquired out of my cube. (Whew! See? I was so excited that I had to get that all out in one breath with no punctuation!)

~And to close today’s post, I have now found a new obsession. It is called BLOGTHINGS and these ones are pretty scary accurate. Enjoy.

What Your Taste in Music Says About You

Your musical tastes are upbeat and conventional.

You are an easy going, optimistic person.

Family and friends are very important to you.

You enjoy caring for and helping other people.

You thrive in a tranquil environment, and you do your best to keep things peaceful.

You enjoy your life. You have your priorities straight.

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe

But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated

You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys

Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites.

And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear.

Your Gemstone Says...

You are a person of high morals and ethics.

You have a lot of personal integrity, and you are very loyal.

You are a very charitable person, and you have faith in others.

Almost everyone is very impressed with you.

Your Ice Cream Personality:

You like to think of yourself as a fairly modest person. And it's true that you don't talk yourself up... but you're also pretty happy with who you are.

You are incredibly cautious. You rather miss out on something than make a mistake. No one would ever call you wild... but they would call you responsible.

You are a very open minded, liberal, and flexible person. You love many things. You tend to have tastes that range from down home to cosmopolitan.

You are a natural multitasker. You feel alive when you're doing more than one thing at a time.

You can be a big dramatic and over the top sometimes. You are bold in every way

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Expect Miracles

A couple of weekends ago, I was at a festival and saw this bracelet.

I had to stop and stare at it for a few minutes because it struck me so hard. All I could think about was how I wished I could buy one for every single wonderful woman that I have "met" through blogging.

When you're trying to have a baby, especially when you are experiencing infertility, every single month, no matter how hard you try not to, you get your hopes up (even if it's just a little tiny bit... because there's always a chance!) and every single month there is a bfn and every single month it gets harder and harder. That bracelet, to me, represented hope.

Even if you are already a mother, or you're not looking to beceome one, we all have things in our lives that we just need a little bit of hope for. In this economy, for example, there is a lot of struggling and fear. Maybe you're in fear of you or a family member losing your job. Maybe you're wondering how you're going to put food on the table or pay for your next tank of gas. Maybe it's something completely different.

So, I guess, this is my poor (wo)man's way of wishing you all a miracle. I can't affored to buy every single one of you a bracelet, and even if I could, I'd have no idea where to send it. Let this be your bracelet. Let this be your hope. Expect Miracles.

Monday, July 21, 2008

My life in the computer

I'm on the computer A LOT. At work, I stare at the computer screen all day and, well, work. Then I come home and immediately run up to my desk and check the things I can't check at work (ie, personal email accts, myspace, facebook..)I keep in touch with almost all of my friends via message boards and email. I'm trying to earn us a bit of money by opening up an ebay store, and so I've been spending HOURS trying to figure out the ins and outs of that whole thing. Probably 80% of my awake time is on the computer. The other 20% is spent cooking or cleaning or driving or you know, living. Is that sad?


I'm so excited that you're here! I can't wait to "meet" you all.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

I love a good contest!

The Ladies at SITS are at it again! This time they are giving away a new camera! Do you all have any idea how badly I need a new camera? If I win, I promise I'll post all kinds of fantastic pictures. Pop on over and check it out! Tell them that I sent you!

Friday, July 18, 2008


How excited are YOU!?!

I need a vacation

Seriously.... everything just keeps piling up and piling up. I need a vacation before I become certifiable. But I have no money. If anyone wants contribute to my vacation fund, I'm not stopping you. And I'm not above begging.


It's been a rough week for the Hubs. He's been having some drama at work, there's some major drama going on with his family, and it's finally starting to hit him (a year later) that getting pregnant isn't easy for us. Through it all, though, he's just been AMAZING. He has always known exactly who he is and what he's about. He's so strong in his faith, and he honestly believes that everything will be OK. I am so proud of what a leader he is, and how he handles himself while under pressure from all sides. A lesser man would have fallen apart a long time ago.

Also, he went shopping with me yesterday. We only went to Old Navy, but he HATES shopping, so it was a big step. I ended up not buying anything for myself, because everything they had in my size made me look short and stumpy, but we did buy some REALLY cute clothes for the Littles. He saw how happy it made me to find such cute little things (and not break down) and so he let me shop for them until I was ready to be done. My Husband? He ROCKS!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Maybe it's just me....

But I'm pretty sure that someone who works at a completely different company shouldn't be calling me and asking me how to do their job. I have a few vendors (I work in purchasing) who call me on a pretty normal basis and ask me questions about items that I have ordered through them. Call me crazy, but aren't you supposed to know your products better than I'm supposed to know them?

What in the world is going on with today?

I accidentally fell back to sleep after my alarm went off this morning. Luckily, I had a puppy that needed to go outside, or I probably would have slept all morning and been REALLY late for work.

So I wake up, put Charlie out, feed Maggie, and go check on my clothes that the Hubs was supposed to switch to the dryer before he went to bed last night. He did, but they weren’t dry. WTH? So I turn the dryer back on, walk out of the laundry room, and step on the cat. Poor kitty…. But she really should know better than to get in my way. Especially in the morning when I can hardly function.

While I was getting ready for work, the power went out. While the power was out, my cordless phone started ringing. Does anyone else realize how weird this is? Right. So I’m sufficiently freaked out, and I SWEAR I hear sounds down on the first floor. And then Charlie starts barking. And I’m standing, naked, in the bathroom with the door open thinking “Please don’t let there be anyone in the house!” And then my bedroom door opens REALLY loudly. Honestly, I’m amazed I didn’t pee myself, it startled me so badly. And here comes The Hubs strolling out saying “the power went out. I need to pee.” Thank you, Captain Obvious.

The power comes back on. I finish getting ready and go downstairs to put my lunch together and dump dinner in the crock pot. (yes, I’m aware that I just changed tenses. Sue me.) I know that I have some crock pot liners somewhere (One of the world’s best inventions), but I can’t find them. I get on a chair to check on top of the fridge. They are buried under a bunch of crap that The Hubs put up there. I grab the liners. Everything falls off of the top of the fridge. My chair tips over and dumps me off of it. I’m unharmed, but thinking “What in the WORLD is going on this morning?!?” I put (most) everything back. I grab the jar of sauerkraut and immediately drop it. It’s still in one piece, but it dropped on my big toe. OUCH! Try to open the jar. No dice. Tap the jar with the handle of a butter knife. No dice. Contort my arms into some strange position and put all of my energy into opening the jar. FINALLY it opens. I pour the kraut into the crock pot and head down to get my clothes from the dryer. Guess what. The power went out, and my new dryer doesn’t automatically turn back on when the power comes on. I pull on my still damp pants, run upstairs to kiss The Hubs goodbye, and run out of the house. Pretty sure I couldn’t have gotten out of there faster this morning. Don’t you hate mornings like that?


Also, a couple more random thoughts that should have gone in yesterday’s post.

~ At the gas station I frequent, there is a small refrigerated display case for Starbucks Frappuccinos. I walked over to grab my dark chocolate mocha and notice that on the top shelf of this display is an EMPLOYEE’S LUNCH! I’m sorry, but that totally grossed me out on so many levels. I’m pretty sure I won’t be going there anymore.

~ EVERY SINGLE DAY at 11:11 (which happens to be RIGHT NOW) I happen to glance at a clock. Any clock. Even if I happen to be driving down the road at that time, I will inevitably pass a clock on someone’s sign at exactly 11:11. It doesn’t matter if it’s AM or PM or BOTH. This has been happening for months now, and it’s starting to freak me out.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Whatever Wednesday

As promised~

~ The Hubs and I were watching TV before bed the other day when the commercial for the LG Shine featuring Lauren Conrad and Brody Jenner came on.

Me: I feel just a little cooler about owning my phone now that I see LC and Brody Jenner with one.

Hubs: Who’s Brody Jenner?

Me: That guy that was just on the commercial? The HOT one?

Hubs: ……

Me: He’s Bruce Jenner’s son. You know, the Olympic star?

Hubs: Oh. He’s ugly! How did his son get so hot?

Me: I’m TOTALLY blogging this conversation.


My 16 year old sister got a cell phone that she has to share with my autistic 17 year old brother. They’re SOOOO excited! They’re so much younger than me, that it’s so hard to think of them as 16 and 17….. I think they’ll always be “the babies.”


My 21 year old sister is NOT so excited about them getting a cell phone. All she can say is “I didn’t get one until I was 18!” Ummm I didn’t get one until I was in college and my car broke down (again) in the ghetto and I had to ask some guy who was probably in the middle of setting up a drug deal if I could use his phone to call for help. I don’t want to hear it.


The Shiteth hath Hiteth the Proverbial Fan, and my husband is seeking new employment. If anyone lives in NE Ohio and would be willing to keep an eye out for me, please let me know.


I found out that I work really well and can be really calm when facing being royally screwed. Who knew?

I also realized that my faith in God becomes stronger when tested. For some reason that always surprises me.

The Hubs would kill me for posting this....

I know he doesn't want all of his business posted all over the net, but I'm trying SO hard not to cry right now....................................... The Hubs had finally made an appointment for his SA this morning. I was SO excited to be able to move on with the process. I just got a call from him saying that he needed to reschedule because he couldn't get it to "shoot into the cup" and that he told me that he couldn't do it in the morning. Well, dude, you don't really have a choice. So he called and rescheduled for the 29th. I guess I can wait since I waited so long to begin with, but DARNIT! This SUCKS!!

Whatever Wednesday will happen....but not until later in the day.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mercury must be in Retrograde

I have no idea what that means, but every time I hear it, it makes me think of people going crazy and bad things happening. It seems to me that the last few days have been that way....

I found out (reaffirmed?) that my husband's boss sucks at life. I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty here, but let's just say that he's completely two-faced has lost my complete respect. Again. And he was FINALLY starting to win it back after our big blow up 2 years ago. (Yes, I had words with my husband's boss. He contacted me via email and basically called me a bad wife. The Hubs almost quit and it actually almost came to blows.) The Hubs loves his job, though, so it REALLY sucks...... I hope that this turn of events isn't going to lead us down the road that I see it headed. Past behavior is the best predictor for future behavior,right? I'm so worried right now, I think I might puke.

A good friend of mine called the other night. I didn't pick up because I was sleeping, and I just figured he was on his way home from work (he's a chef) and forgot that I have a normal people job and get up in the morning. Turns out he was in a really bad way. His fiance had just freaked out on him, aborted his child, and returned the very expensive engagement ring that he bought her.... one day after the return policy was up. He's (understandably) torn into a million pieces right now, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. I can't even give him a real hug, because he's in FL and I'm in OH. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.... he's such an amazing person and would have been an incredible father. He really wanted that baby.............................

Another amazing friend and co-worker came up to me today to tell me about some problems she was having with her boyfriend. She is such a strong person, and to see tears glistening in her eyes almost brought me to my knees.

I love being the person that my friends turn to for advice. I love being the person that will lend an ear and a shoulder. I love knowing that people think I'm dependable and knowledgable enough to share their problems with. I love feeling like I'm helping. I HATE, however, hearing that my friends are in a bad way and not being able to do ANYTHING to fix it. Why can't everyone just be happy all the time? A little drama here and there is ok, but I just don't understand how some people can be so CRUEL... especially to people who are so amazing.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Babymaking update

I do have a little bit of news on the TTC (trying to conceive, for all of those not in the know) front. Nothing as exciting as a beautiful little blob growing in my uterus, but we're taking steps in the right direction. The Hubs FINALLY aggreed to get his swimmers checked out. He claims that he's been meaning to make the appointment for a really long time (like MONTHS!) but he kept forgetting. I finally gently reminded him on a day when he happened to be off of work with no excuses. Honestly, I think he was/is afraid. I don't blame him, but I don't really feel all that bad for him since I've been getting almost routinely violated since about right after we got married 2.5 years ago and I got diagnosed with PCOS. His appointment is for this Wednesday morning (2 more days!) I can't wait........ because he's decided that we need to abstain until after his test, so he can put his best foot forward, so to speak. Also, I want to get this baby train going.

We also talked a bit last night about our time table as far as adopting. We agreed that we would give it another year to conceive on our own(ish), and then we would look into adopting. If all goes well, I should be a mommy by the time I'm 30 in one way or another. It's kind of late as far as my "plan" goes, but I guess plans change, and we all have to learn to roll with the punches, right? Isn't that a major part of parenthood? I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on this whole situation, even though it gets harder to do every time I see the chubby goodness which is a baby.

Also, I might be a masochist. I keep putting myself in situations where I'm forced to be around adorableness all of the time. I've been watching "the baby borrowers" on ABC. It's good education, but they couldn't have picked more adorable kids to use! I was watching last week's episode over the weekend and bawling my eyes out because they're just SO CUTE! Right?! The Hubs and I went to a minor league baseball game on Thursday night. It must have been family night or something, because there were about a million kids there under the age of 5..... which happens to be my favorite kind. (This happened to be the day that Fertility Friend decided that I didn't ovulate after all, like it had been telling me for almost 2 weeks. We left after the 5th inning because I don't think the whole ballpark wanted to witness a meltdown.) Also this weekend (am I crazy? I think I am) I went to a festival that is within walking distance of my sister's abode. In case you didn't know, there are almost ALWAYS adorable children there. Little girls in cute little dresses and hairbows... little boys in baseball caps....... UGH! And then there is the obligatory pregnant teenager. There's always at least one. Or 2. Or, you know, 5. ::rolls eyes::

SO please send some positive vibes my way until Wednesday (well, actually my husband's way) for super sperm. If all is well with him, we can get me good and medicated and ovulating. HOW EXCITING IS THAT!?

Friday, July 11, 2008

My Husband Rocks Friday

I was introduced to this really GREAT idea while readig one of my new favorite blogs, Staci's Heart. To read about how My Husband Rocks Friday was born, click on the icon in my sidebar.

My Husband Rocks for SO many reasons. We obviously have occasional bumps in the road as we adjust to being married and homeowners, but I can't think of anyone I would rather take with me on this journey.

Today my Husband ROCKS because he spent his entire day off mowing his parent's lawn. My father in law recently had surgery on his hand and can't do much. Today the Hubs had the day off and decided to spend the entire day helping out at his parent's house. He also spent almost every day last week over there taking care of them. He is such an incredible person and an incredible partner and I am SO lucky and blessed to have found him.

You Asked... My Dream Vacation

A while ago I posted this post. Nobody answered, so I posted it again here. Feel free to add questions at any time. They're fun to answer!

Today's question: Hot Tub Lizzy asked "What's your dream vacation? Have you taken it already?"

Answer: Hawaii and No. I will get there before I die, though.... I promise I will. I did, however, go on a pretty kick-a** honeymoon cruise. You want to hear all about it? Well, OK, if you insist.....

For our honeymoon, in FEBRUARY, when the weather in Ohio was in the negatives, the Hubs and I went on a carribean cruise. If you've never done that before, I HIGHLY SUGGEST IT! We had a ton of fun and learned a bit along the way. Some quick lessons:

1. The hubs is way too tall to fly coach (he's 6'4''. I'm 5'2''. My tall girlfriends hate me)

2. Those shore excusions are way overpriced.

3. People in the islands drive like they're insane. Seriously. I thought I was going to toss my cookies while riding sardine style in a tour bus.

4. Even though they have something going on every single minute of ever single day you're on the ship, it's ok to check out for an hour or 3 every afternoon and take a nap.

5. It's also OK to order everything on the menu at dinner just to taste it. Especially when it comes to dessert. The food is all on the ship anyway. If it doesn't get consumed by someone, it's going to waste anyway.... might as well get something out of it.

6. The people in Jamaica that try to sell you crap are SWINDLERS! They prey on gullible people who think they can't live if you don't pay them $50 for a pair of totems that they carved in 5 minutes and then carved your name in so they can't sell them to anyone else. (That was the first and last time I let the Hubs "wheel and deal" with any of the islanders.)

7. Be Prepared! For about a week after you get off of the ship, you'll feel like your still rocking. It's very possible to get sea sick on solid ground.

My question to you: If you could go anywhere in the world and cost wasn't an issue, where would you go?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm a little bit nervous

I have to get this off of my chest. I worry about this from time to time, and with the economy going as it is, my worry comes in great waves that block my mind of pretty much everything else.

My husband works for a small company that provides promotional “thank you” materials for car dealerships and real estate agents. In his area, he works directly under the owner of the company. It’s only a small company, so he doesn’t make much in the way of the dinero, but he loves his job, and that’s worth more than a million dollars. He has job security…. Basically, the only thing that can make him jobless is if the company folds. That’s pretty much what I’m afraid of.

Obviously, this company depends on the dealerships to order their product. With the economy going how it is, there have been many dealerships that just can’t afford to order their products. Honestly, if they weren’t being so aggressive in looking for new business, I’m pretty sure they would have folded a long time ago.

The worry I have is this: My husband, although very intelligent and capable, does not have a college degree. He has tried to go back multiple times, but can’t get in more than one semester before he’s completely over it. He also doesn’t have too much work experience. Most of the places he’s worked at have been the typical high school part time positions, and those types of jobs won’t help us survive. I just don’t know what he would do if something were to happen. They’re cutting down his working hours to 32 a week, and this is usually their busy time!

Please keep my husband’s company in your prayers. I know there are people so much worse off than us, but it would be a HUGE problem if something were to happen with this job. Thank you!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Whatever Wednesday

Time for another installment of “Whatever Wednesday!”

~ Long story short: Like everyone else in the world, I have some family members that I choose not to associate with because they’re just not good people. One particular cousin is white trash at its white trashiest. This “woman” has 4 children. She abused them in every possible way. When I was 18, they all stayed with my family for a couple of months between houses. I got to witness this abuse first hand, and it almost killed me. Every time I heard her tell these children that they were stupid or not good enough, I wanted to take something big and heavy and throw it at her head. I wanted to save those children, but I was too young. There was nothing I could do except tell them that I thought they were beautiful and worth so much more than they were being told. I haven’t seen them since they left my house after that “visit.” Fast forward to yesterday. One of the kids, K, found me on myspace and sent me a friend request. She’s 19 and now has 3 children. Her oldest was conceived when she was 14 and hanging out with her mom at bars. I’m pretty sure the daddy was in his late 20’s or early 30’s. It breaks my heart to see them all now, knowing what they’ve gone through in their short lives…. and I’m sure I haven’t even heard a fraction of it. I cried for hours last night because I just couldn’t save them………… no matter how badly I wanted to.

~ The Hubbs is sick. Pros: He slept in the basement (it’s easier to breathe down there when you’re sick… it’s cooler and there is a reclining sofa down there) so I got the whole big bed to myself last night. It was SO nice! Cons: men SUCK when they’re sick. Apparently sick with a cold means they can’t move as soon as there’s someone around to take care of them. I’m sure he did fine yesterday while I was gone, but as soon as I got home, he was an invalid. Men.

~ It’s Wednesday… that means I only have 2 more days until I can sleep in.

~ I complain a lot, huh?

~ I really want to see 2 movies: Wall-e (VERY drive-in worthy) and The Dark Knight. I have a huge crush on Christian Bale and have ever since I saw him in Newsies. He’s one sexy mofo. I think it’s his smile… there’s something so appealing about his crooked smile………. Excuse me while I wipe the drool off of my chin.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

It's funny 'cause it's true

I found this on my google home page today:

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

Ellen DeGeneres

The one where I cry a little.

It doesn’t get any easier, does it? For over a year now, the Hubbs and I have been trying to make a baby. It was exciting at first. Then it got to be not so exciting. Then I started to get a dull ache when looking at a pregnant woman or someone with a squishy sweet infant (or motor mouth toddler, or over active child…. You get the picture.) Then, for a while, especially during my 104 day cycle, I couldn’t even look at them without wanting to scream in frustration. I thought it would go on like that until I got myself good and knocked up. Then I hit the one year mark.

Last month was the “official” one year mark of trying. With my PCOS, I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it would take a while to get pregnant. I had prepared myself for the disappointment and the heartache that I knew was to come. I told myself to accept it as a fact and move on. I don’t know what changed last month, and I’m not sure I can put it into words, but it’s more than an ache that I feel. Resignation, maybe? Hopelessness? It’s not really a physical pain anymore like it used to be…. I feel broken. I feel like part of me is just missing. Hollow and empty and lonely….but not quite.

I’m tired of charting, but I almost don’t have a choice. I need to know if I’m ovulating or not… especially with my history of long, anovulatory cycles. Since I refuse to test unless it hits 18 dpo and Good Ol’ Aunt Flo is nowhere in sight, I’m stuck. It’s just too hard to see a negative. Also, HPTs get expensive.

I’ve been seeing a lot of signs and commercials and fliers for adoption and foster care. Is it a sign? Does it mean that I’m not ever going to get pregnant, so I should give up trying and look in to adopting? I said before that I’m not going to get into IUI or IVF cycles. They just aren’t for me…. Mostly because I’m not going to stick myself with needles unless I absolutely HAVE to, plus there’s a million kids out there who need loving homes, and I can provide one. I want to adopt, but I also want to have biological children. I want to know what it feels like to be pregnant. I want to do both. I want it all. Is it too much to ask if I ask for everything?

So I spent as much time as possible with the Littles. When they were born, I finally understood how people can say that they would die for someone else. Mackenzie calls me Mom. Or Aunt Mom. She’ll say Aunt Em (or Emmy) or Aunt Meg, but when she sees me, it’s always Mom or Aunt Mom. Recently she’s been correcting people who call me Aunt Jill. She says “No, Aunt Mom.” OK, Little… whatever floats your boat! They make my life a little bit easier and a little bit lighter. They are how I know I could love someone unconditionally, even if I don’t give birth to them. They are my hope.

For any of you out there who have struggled or are struggling with infertility, or difficulty getting pregnant.... what is your hope? What is your little piece of light that makes the hurt not so bad? I really want to know.

Monday, July 7, 2008

A Contest!

The ladies at SITS are having a contest to win a $100 gift card from TARGET! Who doesn't like Target? Click here to enter. Tell them I sent you :)


Hello my bloggy friends! I've been MIA for a while. Sorry about that! I was out living my life and didn't have time to blog about it. I know, that's crazy talk, right? Well, I'm back and I have to tell you... it's pretty exciting to see double digits in my comments section :) Comments rock. You guys rock. This whole blogging thing rocks!

What have I been doing that's so important that I can't even check in here, you ask? Ummmm alot of nothing, actually. I have a bit of a cold or allergies or something that keeps me coughing ALL THE TIME. I actually called off of work on Thursday because my co-workers were "annoyed" on Wednesday that I kept coughing. Right.... because I LOVE coughing so much that I do it for fun. So I took an extra long weekend and it was great!

Friday and Saturday were spent with my family. It's so great to be able to just chill out with the people that you love most in the world and eat summer only food and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't matter. The Littles were as adorable as always. It's so amazing just watching them grow up. Who knew that I would grow up to prefer the babblings and antics of 19 month olds to intellectual (or not) conversations with adults? Not me! I love those girls so much that I can't even imagine loving my own children as much. I know I will, and probably more, but it's just so hard to fathom.

Yesterday my puppy graduated from puppy obedience classes! YAY CHARLIE! He's such a showoff! He ignores us at home (of course) but as soon as we open the door of the car, he knows where he is and can't wait to show off what he can do. He made lots of friends. If I had the time, I'd love to make him a member of the Doggie Brigade and take him to visit the kids at Children's Hospital. I know he would LOVE that, and so would they, but "mommy" has to work and just doesn't have time for it. So sad.

In other news, We got to spend the holiday with a very special person. Kelly DePew is my best friend's sister and my sister's best friend. She just returned from her 2nd tour of Iraq with the Army. We all feel so grateful and blessed that she was able to return to us for the second time alive and in one piece. Welcome home, Kel! We love you!

I have so much more to talk about, but I think I'll save my thoughts for another post. I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday weekend! Now back to the grindstone.......

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Whatever Wednesday

Random rants:

~ I have a cold. I am coughing so much and so hard that I'm driving all of my co-workers crazy. I feel bad, but don't you think I'd do something about it? I mean, I took some cold meds this morning and I've been sucking on cough drops like it's my job. Also, I've been drinking hot tea and water all day. Am I missing something? I hate coughing.

~ Yesterday someone in another department (she's really strange and not so tactful) Pointed at me and said "PREGNANT!" and I said "No, you're thinking of N (another person in my dept). She had her baby a month ago." She then proceeded to follow me to where I was walking asking me a bunch of questions about if I have kids and if I want kids and if I plan on having them. I tried walking faster to lose her, but it didn't work. Finally she realized that she was hungry and walked away.

~ Another lady in another department looked at my pictures of my neices and, upon hearing that they were just my neices, asked me if I had kids. I said "no." She said "well you better get on that!"

~ I've only talked to each of these women a total of twice. Obviously they weren't taught manners.

~ I have a pile of work to do, and I REALLY am unmotivated to get it done. I'm blaming it on my cold.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

You asked... my first car

When I was in high school my favorite teacher drove a big yellow banana type car that was falling apart and rusting like no one’s business. We all made fun of him.

As all of my friends started to turn 16 (I was the baby of the group) they started driving nice-ish cars. Saturns and Neons and Cavaliers…. All new and bought for them by their parents. For some reason, I assumed that I would receive the same treatment. (I think I was crazy, because, really? I was one of 6 children and my family wasn’t loaded by ANY means.) I was wrong. ::insert scary music here::

I wish I could find a picture of my lovely first car that I inherited from my great grandmother….. yes… that’s right…. My GREAT- GRANDMOTHER. She was a beauty, that car. She was a big yellow Oldsmobile Delta 88. With rust. LOTS of rust. In fact, there were several places that were so rusty that you could stick your fist through the holes. Very safe. Very Trendy. Very hard to drive. This thing was a BEAST! I had such a hard time maneuvering it, that I actually took out one of my friend’s mom’s bushes and drove around with branches sticking out of my bumper. It was so ugly that my friend’s brother once told me I was lowering the value of his car just by parking next to it. I hated that car.

One hot summer day I was on my way home from work. I was driving down a hill on a busy street, and my brakes gave out. I was lucky not to hit someone as I was weaving in and out of traffic, and I pulled the car into a big gravel parking lot that was (thankfully) mostly empty. The only thing that was between me and the back end of a semi was a “railing” of sorts… the kind with the concrete posts and a cable in between each. I hit the cable. It sliced between the grill of my car and the bumper straight through to my tires. It saved my life. There was glass and metal everywhere. 2 of the posts had been pulled out of the ground. The men who worked in the building came out to make sure that I didn’t hit any of their cars. They didn’t say a SINGLE WORD to me. I was peeved. Then a cop came and pumped the brakes and decided that I was lying and sited me for failure to control. I never saw the car again, and I’m ok with that.