Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Dreams and Reality

All through this pregnancy so far, I’ve been led and comforted by dreams. For example:

~ I can’t remember the first dream I had, but I woke up that morning with the very strong feeling that I needed to take a HPT. And I know that strong feeling was a direct result of the dream I had that night. The test was positive.

~ Before my 6w appt, when I was supposed to see the heartbeat, I had a dream that I could feel the heartbeat when I put my hand on my stomach. I knew it was the baby’s because it was really fast, but strong. I saw the heartbeat on the u/s monitor

~ This morning, I woke up a little bit worried, because I had had a dream that I woke up to lots of blood. I went to the Dr (in the dream), and they told me that I wasn’t miscarrying, but I couldn’t remember what the cause was. I went to the Dr this morning, and had a pap done. (yay.) The Dr told me that I would have some spotting afterward (which I’ve never had before when I’ve had that done), but it wouldn’t cause a loss. Good thing he warned me! I went to give the urine sample and there was REALLY HEAVY spotting going on. I guess that explains last night’s dream.

I really hope these dreams keep on coming…. It’s really nice to get a little bit of Divine comfort every now and then! ( And I truly believe that these dreams are God’s way of speaking to me. It really keeps my anxiety in check, which is probably the reason for them. I’m sure high anxiety is not good for the baby!)

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I heard the heartbeat today! It was so strong! I really have a living person growing inside of me. It’s still so hard to believe……. Amazing.

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I had to stop in the Motherhood (maternity) store yesterday to pick up a Bella Band. (Suddenly, all of 2 pairs of my pants fit me, and they won’t for long!) When you buy something there, they give you a “gift bag” full of coupons and samples. The one I got yesterday had a bottle in it. Just a small, plain, baby bottle.

I’ve seen MILLIONS of bottles before- but when I picked it up, it felt like it was the first time I had ever held one. It was MINE. For MY baby. And in seven months, I will be using that bottle to feed MY baby. I could almost feel the weight of the baby in my automatically crooked arm. I could almost see the sweet little face looking up at me with the wise, knowing eyes that most people are born with. For the first time in 2 months, I felt a real attachment to the baby I am carrying. For the first time, it felt real.

6 comments:

Michelle said...

Congratulations! What a beautiful sound that must be!

Megan's Infertility said...

Gotta love that BFP! Bella Bands are so awesome! Can't wait to meet you on Motherhood Lane! :0)

The Patterson's said...

So exciting to hear the heartbeat! We have an appointment next week, and I can't wait!!

Beautiful Mess said...

I've got the chills! I love your last sentence. I hope the spotting goes away and your dreams continue to make you feel peace.
*HUGS*

natalie said...

How exciting to hear the heartbeat! It's awesome, isn't it?? I have to go get some of those bands too..asap! :)

Anonymous said...

I think this is all so beautiful and great but want to remind you that breast is best for baby and for Mommy, too.

Some great information on here: http://www.kellymom.com/ and here: http://www.llli.org/


The giving of samples of bottles, pacifiers and formula runs contrary to many medical and ethical organizations, including the WHO (World Health Organization)'s recommendations for breastfeeding. One of the first and last things a new mother is bombarded with is loads of gift bags and samples (even at her doctor's office and the HOSPITAL!!!) which are multi-billion dollar marketing ploys to undermine mothers into believing that they need these synthetic foods to grow, love and nourish their babies! :(

With proper support and information, less than 1% of women are truly unable to breastfeed (usually for reasons related to a surgery or other malformation of the nipple or breast, though many women with such malformations are pleased to find they can nurse quite fine in spite of these differences)

At any rate, I just wanted to mention that there is nothing as amazing as looking down at your own changing breasts and body and saying "wow, I'm growing food, directly from God, that is made to nourish, love and grow this baby in my womb." A totally holy experience.

All the best.