Monday, August 10, 2009

stress!

Pregnancy is the most amazing, most uncomfortable experience I have ever had.

I’m very tired and whiny today. I need to complain to someone, and I know everyone I know IRL will tell me “you wanted this.” And I need to not hear that right now. Yes, I did want this. Yes, I still do want this. More than anything in the world. Being pregnant is amazing. It also sucks.

I was 12 weeks on Saturday. Morning Sickness has been with me since last week sometime. I’m over it. I’m also sick of food aversions and never wanting to eat, until I do. And when I DO want to eat, it’s always when I can’t. And when I CAN eat, everything sounds/tastes disgusting. The Hubs says he can’t look at me while I eat right now, because I always look like I’m going to immediately throw up anything that passes through my lips. I might. And THAT is frustrating. SO frustrating.

The food issue has brought me to tears on numerous occasions. I can’t go grocery shopping because everything looks gross, so I don’t buy anything. The result is no food in the house. I put off eating as long as I can, because I hate trying to force things down my throat. And then I get worried that I’m not eating enough, or healthy enough. Any solutions to this would be greatly appreciated.

Also? Sleep is not happening. At least not when it’s supposed to. I’ll go to bed early (when I can) and toss and turn because I can’t find a comfortable position. When I finally do and finally drift off to sleep, it’s almost time to wake up. And then I fall asleep at work. Or worse, I start to drift off in my car when I’m driving to and from work! And I work 35-45 minutes away from my house! That’s scary.

AND I’m really hating being touched right now. My skin crawls when people hug me, and The Hubs is getting his feelings hurt because I want nothing to do with him right now. I like knowing he’s beside me, but not too close, and not touching me. And I HATE kissing. I feel so bad, because I haven’t really seen him in about a month due to the play I’m in, but I just can’t do it!

And of course, money is tight. How are we supposed to have a baby and provide for it when we are having a rough time getting by ourselves? STRESS! STRESS! STRESS!

And I’m stressed because I’m stressed. Help?

12 comments:

Amanda said...

I don't know what to tell you on the food stuff. Are you drinking ok? Maybe a nausea med now and then will help you to eat a little more, but I wouldn't push myself too hard if I were you. Hopefully it will be over in a few weeks and you can eat better then.

I would encourage you to experiment with the sleeping positions. Add lots of pillows, and maybe even sleep on the guest bed (or send hubby to the guest room) for a while (assuming you have that option). And be careful driving. Maybe take a day off work just to rest if you can.

I'm sure it's a bit insane right now, but work on what you can and maybe if you get some relief in those areas the rest won't seem so bad.

Good luck! Hang in there!

jill said...

Whoa - it sounds like you are having an incredibly rough time :/ I know you already know but you are totally allowed to complain! Just because you wanted to be pregnant doesn't mean that you shouldn't be fed up with crappy things.

I've never been pregnant so this may or may not be good advice. If I were you I just wouldn't go grocery shopping at all. I'd make someone go for me. I'd think anything you can manage to eat would be good - popsicles maybe? light things like crackers or fruit? Some nausea meds don't sound like a bad idea either.

I hope things get better for you very soon!

natalie said...

Yes, pregnancy can definitely suck in the beginning. I also could not go to the grocery store or even step foot in the kitchen until about 12 or 13 weeks. I'm 16 weeks now, and luckily eating has gotten easier. Try not to feel so bad about the touching/kissing thing with hubby either. I still have a little trouble with it. I just think it's the whole feeling uncomfortable/nauseous thing. It'll get better!

Jen said...

Hmm...I cannot help on the food front because I was very very lucky and did not have morning sickness (sorry). The only thing I can think is most people say the second trimester is a good one. Whether you are sick or not sick, tired or not tired, it seems that things stabilize in the second. So hopefully it will for you in a couple weeks or so.

Also, there is something you can take for the morning sickness. One of my friends was losing weight and couldn't eat in her first tri and they gave her some pill and it helped a bit.

Regarding the OB/GYN. I would definitely call for an interview first. The best thing I ever did was interview Pediatricians because I felt so at ease with the woman I ended up selecting and she is SO great. You see the OB/GYN so much, you need to like him/her at least a little.

Hope said...

I know it stinks!!! Hang in there...they say it should get better in just a few short weeks. I hear you on the sleep thing. It stinks! And the food thing...it is hard when nothing sounds good. And then it does and the minute it is in front of you, it looks gross all of a sudden. Pregnancy is a crazy thing!

Annegirrl said...

That does suck! I hope you can start feeling better soon. As far as not sleeping I found that half a pill of Unisom was HEAVEN for getting some sleep at night. I was so wound up while I was pregnant that falling asleep was impossible without it.

Michelle said...

So sorry that really sucks! It is not fair that people do not sympathize just because you tried for a while to have a baby. IF takes away so much it should not take away the right to complain when we are uncomfortable. It does not mean you don't want to be pregnant. UGH! You can complain here all you want! hope it get better soon!

Megan said...

Have you tried meditation. It might help with the stress. I'm sorry you've been so sick...I hope it subsides soon.

Beautiful Mess said...

Fruit was the only thing that saved me. I swear if it wasn't for being able to eat fruit, I would not have eaten anything.

It is stressful being pregnant. I hope you start to feel better soon!
*HUGS*

MAK-now said...

OMG - we are in the same exact boat!! I don't want to eat anything but eating is the only thing that keeps the nausea at bay. Well, at least for a lil while. Then it's back full force. I'm pretty much sick all day long but it's the worst for me at night. Just when I want to lay down and relax, the nausea hits. I've been keeping crackers on my nightstand, as well as a cup of ginger ale. It does seem to help a bit, sometimes just long enough for me to fall asleep. Here's hoping it gets better for us in the 2nd tri.
xoxo

Celia said...

Have you considered a smoothie? It is liquid so you can sip it and not chew it. It will be cold, so there will be no or little smell. You can put it in one of those travel mugs so you don't have to look at it. Then you can throw in protein( milk yogurt peanut butter) dairy( milk yogurt) fruit( bananas strawberries peaches)frozen peaches and strawberries work better than fresh, it doesn't matter with bananas. You can blend in some ovaltine, or ground flaxseed also.

I have been buying precooked and chopped chicken for days when I just can't look at food.

Tiffanie said...

uggghh, i hear ya. who knew something we wanted for so long would so suck bad? i am feeling a little better now w/ my zofran pump. hopefully you start feeling better soon too. i still can't stand the smell of food.

and, yes, you can punch that girl on my blog in the face. just make sure i get to watch.