Friday, October 10, 2008

A bundle of something.....

This might come out to be a bit incoherent. Please be patient with me… I’m trying to sort some stuff out.

I’ve not ever been one of those people who analyzes if I have pregnancy symptoms or not. I don’t normally have strong feelings that I COULD be pregnant. This month, though, it’s different, and I’m not sure if I like it…..

I’ve been analyzing my symptoms. I feel sick almost all the time. I’ve been exhausted and asleep by 9:30 every night. (I would be asleep sooner if I didn’t have so much to do before I could get myself to bed. ) I feel like I’ve been blown up like a balloon. I’m lightheaded and a bit dizzy. I’ve been having some cramps and my boobs are KILLING ME

All of these could be signs of pregnancy, but they are also PMS symptoms and most are also side effects of Metformin. I’m trying SO hard not to get my hopes up. I’m trying to tell myself that I’m probably not pregnant- because why would this month be any different from the last 15 months? It’s been so easy to brush off these types of symptoms before, why not now?

Is it maybe because the Hubs is being so optimistic? Is it because my sister in law just has a feeling? I called her the other day, and she was just so sure I was calling to tell her that I was pregnant. They’re coming home next week for a bit (The Hubs’ brother has a temp job down in FL) and I would LOVE to be able to tell them some good news.

So I guess it all comes down do this: Do I want to be pregnant? Of COURSE! Do I think I AM pregnant? Yes. But No. But Maybe…… I’m a bundle of something (Nerves? Excitement? Anticipation?) and I need to either 1) get a visit from AF (not a welcome option) or 2) hurry up and get to Monday so that I can test. And then the test needs to be positive. And then I can relax. Kinda.


SAHW said...

This time of month would always drive me crazy! Try to keep yourself busy over the weekend so you don't lose your mind wondering and over-analyzing. Looking forward to the next update! :)

Jenilee said...

I know... I have been SO certain... and

I am crossing fingers and toes!

Portraits In Sepia said...

I have SOOOO been there and then realized just recently (after 4 years) that if I am pregnant an HPT test will tell me shortly after my period is due and that's that. It's not such a mystery and not so complicated and I have finally, after 48 months...month after month...figured this out. Good luck to you!!

Michelle said...

I will be keeping EVERYTHING crossed for you!!!

andrea said...

i hope the optimism pans out jill. keeping all my crossables crossed for you!!