Friday, May 30, 2008

Thoughts on a Friday morning

I’m very weepy today. It’s kinda ridiculous. Let’s list the things that I have shed a few tears over, shall we?

1. I was 5 minutes late for work.

2. A friend told me about how her family dog was being put down.

3. I read the recap of the Roseanne series finale, and realized that a) I didn’t see it when it ran like I thought I did and b) it was sad and made me doubt everything that happened in the entire series.

4. I would rather be sitting at home with my husband and cuddly dog instead of sitting here at work.

5. It’s not even noon yet.

Today is my little sister’s birthday! She’s 24 today and married with beautiful twin girls. For some reason, I’ve always made a big deal of her birthday. When she was away at college, I rented a car (mine was a POS and wouldn’t make the 3 hour drive down) and bought a cake and a bunch of gifts and spent the weekend with her, because it was her first birthday away from home. She is my best friend, and also the person I’ve fought with most in my life! We’ve shared clothes and boys (umm yeah… about that…) and fist fights and hurtful words. We’ve screamed and yelled and cried and slammed doors and then said “so are you coming with me to the mall, or what?” I was her matron of honor, and I’m the Godmother to one of her children. She is one of the most caring women I’ve ever met, an amazing mother, and the best sister! Happy Birthday, Connie! I love you!


Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of Biblical Fiction, mostly about women of the bible. What I’ve found most interesting is that a lot of them have suffered from IF. For some reason, knowing that women have been suffering since the beginning of time makes me feel a little less lonely. Knowing that these women were important enough to be put into the bible also eases my guilt a bit. Although I know that the books I’m reading are fiction, based on limited knowledge of the actual women who existed, whoever wrote them seems to “get” it. These women want nothing more than to carry a child for their husbands. These women want to feel the aches and pains of pregnancy. They are not written as saints; they are written as women who, occasionally, feel bitter that they are barren. They feel ashamed that they cannot conceive. They pray for a child. They overanalyze every part of their lives to see why God would punish them so. They seek any means available to them for council and advice on tricks to try and herbs and foods to eat. They were not so different from the infertiles of today. Who’s to say that, if ART was available to them in their times, they wouldn’t have chosen the paths toward IUI or IVF?

So, readers (all 5 of you) I’m curious. Are there any books you’ve read or movies you’ve seen that make you feel just an inkling better about the whole IF thing? Is there anything you’ve encountered that makes you feel less alone? Leave me a comment and let me know.


Kathy V said...

For some reason I could not leave a comment before so I sent you an e-mail instead. I hope my suggestions work out for you.

Elise M. Stubbe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~S said...

just leaving a note to say hi...IF sucks...I don't know of any good books/movies...I'd love to hear of any if you find out.

susan said...

How fun to make such a big deal of your sister's special day. I hope she does the same for you.

(it's stories like this that make me feel left out of the whole sister thing...all I have is a pesky brother)

Jendeis said...

Hi, here from the Lost & Found. I don't think there's any fiction that has helped me, but I did like the Infertility Survival Guide by Elizabeth Swire Falker (something like that). What's really helped me feel less alone are the wonderful people I've met in the blogosphere. Welcome!

Amber said...

I really really loved Waiting for Daisy by Peggy Orenstein. It's by far my favorite IF book - I've read it 3 times!

Hang in there - it's the weekend!

andrea said...

don't know a lot on the book front - but honestly, reading a lot of other women's blogs, the real life stuff, that helps me. sometimes it frustrates me even more - but most of the time not!

and happy birthday to your sister :)

Lauren said...

Hi there! I'm from the Lost & Found as well. Just wanted to let you know you have more than 5 readers! =)