lunch time phone convo

The Hubs: So, how are you feeling?



Me: Um, fine.... why?



The Hubs: No, I mean, do you feel anything? Like, do you feel a baby yet?



(I'm 3dpo)



I'm glad he's optimistic this cycle. Let's just hope his optimism turns into a baby.

Monday, Monday....

I am briefly emerging from my Twilight Haze to give you, my lovely internet, an update on all things fertility related.





Friday: Dished out $20 for the RE to tell me, with a flick of the vag cam, that my follicle wasn’t ready to trigger yet.




Saturday: Got up super early to drive BACK to RE to give up another $20 and get my HCG shot. Is it normal for the injection site to be sore for 48 hours after the shot? I was wincing in pain most of the weekend.




Today: Went in to discuss the results of all of the poking and prodding. Not bad, but not great. Turns out, I DO have PCOS with insulin resistance. We did some (more) blood work, and I have a prescription for Metformin waiting to be filled. (I’ve heard people talk about how amazing it is, but I don’t know much about it. Any stories to share?) Also, my uterus looks good, and all of my hormone levels are normal. He told me I should try to lose at least 7% of my body weight (like I haven’t been trying) but I’m not allowed to do more than a “brisk walk” as far as exercise goes. That means no more Zumba. (I asked him. I guess it’s a good think he told me now. The registration opens up for the next session soon, and I was planning on signing up for 2 sessions instead of 1 a week. So sad. )






So, have I missed anything big in Bloggyland? My google reader is beyond ridiculous in the amount of posts that I’m backed up on…… so I apologize if I haven’t been commenting/reading on a regular basis. I will return to normal as soon as I’m finished with Breaking Dawn (the last book in the Twilight series, which I am now reading) I promise I will!

My Husband Rocks! (AND a Giveaway)

I missed last week, so I guess maybe I should do double duty this week! My Husband ROCKS!



So this past week was our birthay week. The Hubs is only 3 days older than me, but he's not as into birthdays as I am. We had decided we weren't going to get anything for each other (again) this year, because money was tight. I kept up my end of the bargain (well, I got him a card), but, at midnight on wed/thurs he surprised me with a little something :) He bought me the ear buds that I have been drooling over for about a month now. Now I won't have to deal with them falling out of my ears while I'm working out! How cool is that?!




Also this week, my best friend stayed with us for a couple of days. She lives in Arizona, and she and The Hubs haven's always gotten along so well. Wednesday night he went out of his way and sat up talking with us. It made me feel really good, and she got really excited because she said "I think we're friends, now!" It was a pretty great time.



** As always, to find out more about My Husband Rocks Fridays, please visit Katy Lin at The Great Adventure. This week, in honor of her anniversary, she is having a pretty great giveaway. Pop on over and check her out!**

Well, Hello There!

I apologize for my absence this past week. You see, I have fallen into the “Twilight” obsession, and can’t seem to dig myself out of it! It’s bad, people. Really REALLY bad.



If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you need to read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer. It sounds pretty stupid when you try to describe it to someone : Girl moves to new town and falls in love with boy- who happens to be a vampire…… but OMG! These books are so much more than that!!! First, it’s pretty much the most INTENSE love story since Romeo and Juliet- and I’m not even exaggerating. By the end of the first book, if you’re not completely in love with Edward, then there’s probably something wrong with you- because he’s pretty amazing.




Stephanie Meyer has this talent of putting complex, powerful emotions into the simplest of terms. I’m amazed at how well she is able to bring things up in my emotional memories that I thought were long ago buried. HOLY FREAKIN’ COW!




K, I’m done ranting and raving now. Read the books. I’m not kidding.

And so it goes...

Yesterday was my big appointment with the RE. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but OH MY GOODNESS did I get whole lot of info in a short time! Yesterday was my big appointment with the RE. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but OH MY GOODNESS did I get whole lot of info in a short time!



This Dr was very highly recommended by some of my favorite local ladies, so I was excited to finally meet him. I have to say, he was pretty great. I’m all about the no-nonsense-get- this- show- on- the- road approach, and, apparently, so is he. Yesterday just so happened to be CD2, so I was swept up in a whirlwind of poking and prodding and blood taking and also an unexpected date with the vag cam. Those are always fun, right?



After all was said and, um, done, I left with a whole bunch of stuff swimming in my head, and I needed some time to sort it out. It comes down to this: He doesn’t think that I have PCOS after all. I know, right?! I think he pretty much based his decision on the fact that I don’t have a ton of excess hair all over the place- because he asked like 4 times. He thinks I’m just anovulatory. That’s nice of him.



SO! Today I start 100mg of Clomid (if the side effects of 50mg were bad, I’m really afraid to see what happens with this stuff.) I go back on Monday for a SHG (on my lunch break. I know you’re jealous.) and then I go back AGAIN on Friday for a mid-cycle check up. THEN they’re going to give me an HCG trigger- and THEN the Hubs and I get to “do it”- and THEN I get to go back the next day for a post-coital exam. Getting knocked up is so romantic, isn’t it?



********************


In other news, I have a copy of Twilight sitting on my desk just waiting for me to start reading. I’ve been wanting to read this for MONTHS to see what all of the hype is about, so I kinda wish I could leave “sick” and go home to read it. I was told that this book was going to “make my life inconvenient.” I haven’t even opened it yet, and already my life is “inconvenient!” HA!

MY HUSBAND ROCKS!!!

I’m trying to think about a specific reason this week that my husband rocks, but I just can’t- there are too many! He is so sweet and kind and caring and can make lemonade out of the most sour of lemons. He is my true partner in life, and I am so in love with him!



P.S. Some of my SITStas asked me to share the blog that I referred to in last week’s installment of MHR. After speaking with the Hubs, he would prefer that I not do that, because then the thing I was trying to be so discreet about would become obvious. However, I’m planning an upcoming post in which I’ll feature some of my favorite marriage related blogs for any of you who are interested.

Where were you?

I can’t believe it’s been 7 years. I can’t believe that one day in history can change so many lives, and leave such a lasting impression. I think I will always remember the events of that day- the fear, the confusion, the surprise that something like that could happen to US! We were supposed to be invincible. Isn’t that what they taught us growing up?



The sequence of events will forever be burned in my mind. I woke up to the news, but I thought that it was “just” a bomb. The most devastating thing that I had seen up until then was the bombing of Oklahoma City, so I thought it was more of the same. It was sad, but it was isolated and I wasn’t too concerned. I went to class- and then the second plane hit. Then the panic set in. People all over campus were glued to any TV available. It was pandemonium. I was terrified that this was the beginning of WWIII and we were all going to get killed by nukes.



I had ridden to campus with my brother, and I couldn’t find him. I called his cell phone multiple times with no answer. Hysteria was starting to set in. (Ok, really, I do tend to go from 0 to FREAK OUT really fast, so hysteria really wasn’t that big of a jump for me.) I was running all over campus trying to locate him- and I finally did. In the cafeteria. Eating a slice of pizza. Not really caring that we could all be dead in a minute. I wanted to slap him…. Especially when I told him that we needed to get home and he told me that I needed to chill out and let him finish eating first. That’s my brother for you.



I was scheduled to work that day, but I didn’t want to leave my house. My mom convinced me to go try and do something semi-normal, so I went. I remember we locked our doors, turned out the lights, and all sat behind the cash registers with the radio on. I don’t know what we thought would happen, but we were so terrified that we really just wanted to hide. We had family and friends that lived in and around NYC. Everyone was trying frantically to get through but the lines were all busy. Luckily everyone we loved was accounted for. What a relief that was!



The following days are a blur. I attended multiple candlelight vigils and my eyes were glued to the television. I was terrified to be alone, but I didn’t want to be around people, either. Eventually, I started to get back to normal. I don’t know what it took to knock me out of my funk, but something must have. Did I think that it would have a lasting effect on me? Not really. As much as I freak out about things, I can usually let them go pretty easily.



To this day, I get nervous when I hear an airplane flying low. Not really a good thing, since I lived about 5 minutes from an airport for a little over a year. I’m not as secure in the thought that I’m “safe.” I’m more skeptical, and I’m not sure that I like that.



However, I will NEVER forget how so many people rallied together during that time to show support and love for our country. I won’t forget the random acts of kindness that ran rampant through those days. Never in my life have I felt so much pride in the American people. Of course, that all eventually dwindled, and people started to try and profit off of the losses of others, but nothing will take away that short amount of time when I could say “THIS is what it’s all about. THIS is what so many people fought and died for. It WASN’T all in vain. WE WON’T LET IT BE.”



My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the people who lost loved ones on that terrible day, and in related events since. To the many Americans who left their lives to aid those less fortunate. To all of the men and women who risked their lives to pick up the pieces of a wounded nation. To all of the people who continue to serve in the Armed Forces overseas and protecting our borders at Home. Thank you. You are appreciated, and you are missed.

WELCOME SITStas!

Good morning and welcome!!! I'm SOOOO excited you're here!

Earwax (not suitable for sensitive stomachs)

I have a STRONG aversion to bodily secretions and certain bodily functions. I also hate body hair. If I had my way, the only hair ANYONE would have would be on their head. Some facial hair on men is acceptable, but that's it. Seriously. the most attractive thing to me about Michael Phelps is that he has to shave everything off to swim... but I digress.....



I never understood those couples that talk about popping each other's zits or using each other's tooth brushes. I understand that we swap spit when we kiss and stuff, but I don't want to have my husband's plaque in my mouth. Ew. And the zit popping thing makes me dry heave.



So today I was talking about how I need new ear buds (the kind with the rubber part that goes into the ear canal) because the normal plastic ones really hurt my little ears. The Hubs kindly offered to switch with me, because that's the kind that he has and he doesn't like them. I was all for it (even though they're black, and I want a fun color like pink to match my nano) until he handed them to me. (This is going to make me sick just typing it. Bear with me here, people.) Right on one of the rubber parts was a great big orange glob of EARWAX. That's right. Wax. From his ear. And he wanted me to put them in MY ears and test them out. Men are gross. I mean, seriously, would YOU do it?



So tell me, SITStas, does this gross you out as much as it does me? What grosses you out? (Do I really want to know?!)

So I did it.....

I broke down yesterday and called to make an appointment with a highly recommended RE (reproductive endocrinologist). My temps have been all over the board, so I know that this cycle isn't working. FF (fertility Friend) says that I MAY HAVE ovulated a few days ago.... if so, then I definitly missed the boat. I don't think I did, though. I have no idea what to expect, and I'm a little nervous. Maybe I had myself convinced that it wasn't going to come to this? I'm glad I'm taking this step, though.



My appointment is Tuesday, Sept 16. Wish me luck.

My Husband Rocks!

The reason my husband rocks this week is actually pretty personal, so for the sake of our marriage, I'm not really going to post the details. Some things need to be kept sacred, you know? Just know that my husband did an incredibly selfless thing this week after reading a blog series that I recommended. This should help our marriage immeasurably, and I am so incredibly grateful for him.

IF.....

Infertility sucks. Only those of us who experience the monthly disappointment can understand. We want to say that it doesn’t define us- it’s not who we are- but it does and it is. It’s huge. It’s the elephant in the room. It makes it so hard to have, and keep, IRL friends. Am I the only one who thinks this?



I live my life. I have fun. I enjoy the things I have. Always, though, I have the thought in the back of my head of children and IF. Isn’t it appropriate that the abbreviation for infertility is IF? As in: IF this cycle works (or doesn’t….) IF the drugs I’m pumping into my body actually make my ovaries produce eggs… What IF I get pregnant this cycle, but then something goes wrong….. IF I have to be put on bed rest and can’t work…. IF I get pregnant with multiples…. IF we spend all of our savings on treatments and then have nothing to show for it- and no money left to adopt…. SO MANY IF’s…… and no one understands, unless they have gone through it.



I’m in such a different place than a lot of my RL friends. Some of them are married and not wanting kids, some are parents or pregnant, some are not married and are still dating around. The grass is always greener, though. Some of my unmarried friends envy that I have a husband and a house and everything that comes along with that. Sometimes I envy that they still get to experience the “falling in love” part, and the fun of dating. Some of my parent friends sometimes envy the freedom that comes with being childless. All the time I envy the fact that they got to experience being pregnant. They got to feel their child(ren) moving and coming to life inside of them. They get to experience the bittersweet joy of every “first”….. I find it SO HARD not to resent that- even though these people are so undeserving of my resentment.



It’s so easy to shrink back out of the world. It’s so easy not to pick up the phone and talk to someone. It’s so easy to become isolated. It’s so easy to not realize that you have, in turn, isolated people who love you and want you in their lives. It’s so easy to hurt people who love you because you don’t want to, or can’t, share your hurt with them. Why is it that the hurting and isolation are the easiest things to come along with IF?

Zumba Zumba Zumba and 90210

ast night I had my first ever ZUMBA class. My mom signed me up to do it with her and my aunt as a birthday gift. I’ve wanted to try it since I heard about it about a year ago- so I was SUPER excited!!!! They say these classes fill up quickly, so I assumed that they were relatively small classes. Imagine my surprise when I walked in to find no less than 50 women standing around waiting for class to start. It was pretty cool!



Now, I HATE to work out. There’s nothing fun to me about sweating enough to drench my clothing. In fact, I gag just thinking about sweat (especially other people’s. The Hubs is a pretty sweaty guy, so that makes things a bit awkward at times.) So when my friend told me that I would be drenched by the time the class was over, I started to dread it. Honestly, though, it was AMAZING! I had so much energy afterwards that I was racing around the grocery store like it was my job. I can see how people get addicted to it!



The Hubs doesn’t think I’m going to keep going. Heck yes I will!

********************************************************************



Also, last night was the premier of the new 90210. I was a HUGE fan back in the day. I still am, actually. I watch re-runs whenever I can catch it on. These people were my idols growing up. I had Brian Austin Green posters all over my room, and I call my brother Brandon Walsh. (Seriously, aside from the journalism thing, the similarities are pretty scary. Also, he’s single.) I wanted to be Jennie Garth, cried when Shannen Doherty left, and got all misty when David and Donna got married. FAVORITE. SHOW. EVER.



I’m not sure how I felt about the new version. It could sink like most other spin offs, or it could take off like Degrassi: the Next Generation (where Shenea Grimes comes from.) I don’t think the pilot was done particularly well, but I’m excited to see where they take the stories.



Things I hated about last night:

- The Peach Pit. HELLO! It’s a diner, not a coffee house. Why did they have to change it.

- Nat didn’t get enough screen time. I hope they don’t just push him to the side in the new version- he was such an important part of the original.

- Brenda didn’t come in until the very end-ish. Does anyone else think she looks terrible?

- All in all, the original characters seemed to just be thrown in to get viewers, and their stories weren’t very developed- even Kelly’s. There’s so much potential there! UGH! The writers better get on that.

- not sure how I feel about the fact that there isn’t really a central group of friends. It seems like the “group” is so scattered. I hope they become more of a cohesive unit. The strong friendship between the main characters is what ultimately made the original so successful, I believe.



Things I LOVED about last night:

- Seeing Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez. I hope they do more with her than just a blurb.

- Erin Silver. It’s exciting to see her all grown up!

- Nat. I just love him.

- I really like most of the new cast as well. I wasn’t crazy about Naomi (she’s an UGLY crier) or the actress girl, but maybe they’ll grow on me.

- The storylines have potential. I hope they run with them.



I think I’ll give it a few more episodes to make my decision on this show. The pilot wasn’t anything explosive or exciting, but I have a feeling that they are just getting started…….